Tick Tock

It's been a while since we've blogged. That is due to busy schedules, so please accept our appologies.



We have good things on the way, but while you're waiting, enjoy these hygiene related videos.

maybe I should faint.

they are among us.

I have been studying the Canterbury Tales in my British Literature class.

I had an assignment to write rhyming couplets about a modern pilgrim.

.

.

.

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There was a hipster, who stood aloof.

To recognize him you need not much proof.

He had a knack for affectation.

His unkempt appearance was not much more than an imitation.

The fine stitching in his jeans could not obscure.

His faded denim was clearly couture.

The vintage flannel which he wore

Cost forty dollars, maybe more.

In an attempt to display his apathetic disposition,

He would seldom spare an inquisition.

Many girls longed to be in his good grace.

Yet only disinterest appeared on his scruffy face.

He was always informed of the hippest beats,

To every indie show, he had front row seats.

His church attendance left nothing to be desired,

And his worship experience always seemed divinely inspired.

He had extensive knowledge of Church History,

And never hesitated to recite the Seven Mysteries.

He was well versed in poetry of all styles,

But in free form he could carry on for miles.

When it came time to eat,

He always inspected his vegan meal for meat.

Polluting the planet, he did not like.

He coasted from place to place on his bike.

The intensity of his passion for the environment,

Was demonstrated in his ability to reuse his dryer lint.

His commitments, he could rarely keep,

You knew his time was not cheap.

Yesterday...

I sat next to a grasshopper in my music appreciation class.

Novelty Nasa

At Elevate this past summer, Heidi, Denver, and I bought some novelty foam hats as a souvenier from Lone Tree Lakeshore Camp at Elephant Butte.



Denver's hat has some sort of wild animal on it, but Heidi and I are wearing hats honoring Nasa. We're both big advocates of space travel.



We were discussing the fact that we never wanted to take our hats off, unless we were in a situation where they were inappropriate, when the question came up: "When is it ever inappropriate to wear these hats?"

Answer:
(Click to Enlarge)

Tuck Everlasting

It has been brought to my attention recently that tucking in shirts has come back in style, and it's here to stay. Until recently, a tucked in shirt was only something you saw on CEO's and southern baptist preachers. Now you can see it done by everyone from the Jonas Brothers to my friend Andrew J. Goodmann, who gave me the inspiration to put this information on the world wide web.

Tucking shirts in has become a trend in both men and women's clothing, but since I have not seen very many troublesome female tuckers I am focusing this blog on men's clothing.

There are many different kinds of "Tucking." Most of which are problematic:

1) 90's Tucking:


2) Business casual/going out of business casual tucking:
(This chart focuses more on wrinkles than tucking, but is a prime example of how the proper way to tuck in a shirt is overlooked.)


3) Young Republicans National Federation Tucking:



4) The Half-Tuck:


5) Front of T-Shirt tucking:
(This is one of the worst ways to tuck. It does much more harm than good. I feel like this kind of tucking is equivalent to burning fossil fuels for no good reason.)


6) Texan Tucking:


7) Polo Tucking:


All of these are examples of things you should never do. If you feel inclined to do any of these, you should probably leave your shirt un-tucked.


I think the main problem is people wearing shirts that are much too big for them which is demonstrated here:


Shirts have to fit properly to be allowed to be tucked in. Any other form of tucking is unacceptable.

Now that we have the rules established, you may be asking, "What originated the tradition of shirt tucking?"
Answer: Safety

Public Service Announcement

No subscription necessary; these magazines are coming to your house whether welcomed or not.

Before you know it, this:

Becomes this:

Now What? You'll never get around to reading them. They can threaten you with Armageddon all day and night and you still probably won't look past the front cover.

In an effort to prevent the above picture from becoming a reality, I've compiled a short list of things you can do to make reading The Watchtower Magazine a little bit more enjoyable:

Things You Can do While Reading Watchtower Magazine

1) Dance (This one's already been tested by my friend Christy Moberly who had only good things to say about the experience.)

2) Push-Ups

3) Fill Prescriptions

4) Peel Onions (or any strong flavored vegetable)

5) Get ahold of some of the latest/hippest music

6) Masonry

7) Discuss Temperature Preferences with close friends or strangers.

8) Watch the Ellen Degeneres Show

9) Film yourself reading Watchtower and add voiceover commentary of your reactions to what you're reading.
10) Weld

11) Have a Tickle Fight

12) Shower

13) Go Clubbing

14) Go Green

15) Have a romantic dinner with my friend Georg from Austria.


As I was doing Watchtower research, I found a couple of charts that I think show crucial information to be aware of while reading the magazine: