Fire Safety

The following is a conversation that took place between me and the woman pictured below at work recently. I have added a few illustrations to help you picture the situation more vividly:

Woman: (Meekly) Hi, I have a question

Me: Yes?

Woman: Did you know that there's a fire extinguisher downstairs behind a locked door that needs a key to be opened

Me: No I did not

Woman: What if a student is playing with matches, drops one down his shirt, catches on fire, and can't get to the fire extinguisher?

Me: I don't know. That would be pretty bad.

Woman: Are you the person I can talk to about fixing this?

Me: No. You should probably talk to the people downstairs about it.


Woman: Okay. It's behind a door that says 'fire extinguisher' but it's locked and you can't open it without a key.

Me: I'm sorry. Fire Extinguisher maintenance is not my job. You should bring this up to the people downstairs.

Woman: Okay, thank you.

Statistics

I forgot my statistics book today...

Mountain Lions, and some other things also.

I have heard rumors of an update of "The Archives" is in high demand. Unfortunately I'm not good at economics so I don't completely understand the principal of supply and demand. I apologize for that. I am starting to understand it though. So here's the supply. I think the best thing I can do is let you in on a few things (6 things) that have been taking up my time. By "my" time I mean Kirsi's time. Although it is probably safe to assume Heidi has been up to all the same things. I can't say for sure though.

1) Reading up on mountain lions/mountain lion attacks. Here are some things I've learned:

-Mountain lion attacks on people apparently increased dramatically since 1986.

-The only way to eliminate the danger of lion attacks is to eliminate the lions

-However, we have learned that these animals are vital to our ecosystems, and in the long run, much more harm to humans may come from eliminating them than any short-term harm any of these predators has ever done to us.

-In California, from 1986 through 1998, exactly two people died from mountain lion attacks, whereas in one year alone, over 4,000 people died in traffic accidents, including 800 pedestrians. This means that your car or someone else's car is ~2,000 times more likely to kill you than is a mountain lion.

-Over 300 people have been killed by domestic dogs in the U.S. between 1979 and the late 1990s. This means that your family dog or your neighbor's dog is ten times more likely to kill you than is a mountain lion and hundreds of time more likely than is a coyote.

-we should be much more worried about meeting a car or the dogs we see every day rather than a mountain lion.

-The general advice to avoid being eaten by a mountain lion is to travel in groups.

-Thus in California, there is an average of one attack every two years, and one death every five years.

2) I have become a tax-payer.

By this I mean I work in an office now. This has always been my dream. This means two things:

-I can now complain about what my tax dollars are up to.
-I can stand around a water cooler and gossip.


And another thing:

-I am not advocating gossip here. I just assume that is what people in offices do. Gossip around the water cooler. Usually about people with very generic names such as "Sherri" or "David."

One more thing:

-Up to this point in life I assumed "Casual Fridays" were just a myth. However now I am suspicious it's true. I'm still not sure though. I don't know the rules of it either. Maybe that is a subject for another blog.


3) I went camping with middle schoolers a few weeks ago. That is one of my favorite things to do. We didn't take pictures, but these other ones I found pretty accurately sum up the trip:




4) I'm taking a biology class online. Which means I do science experiments at my house.


-I need a lab coat.
-I don't have a lab coat.
-I don't realy "need" a lab coat, I just want one so it will feel authentic.
-Goggles also.

5) I have been reading through Deuteronomy the past few weeks. I realize that is more serious than what is normally found on this blog but I like it a lot and want to mention it for a few reasons:

-When reading through the old testament you get to Leviticus and Numbers and by the time you finish you feel as though 1000 years has gone by and you don't remember anything from before. Deuteronomy summarizes everything that had happened up until Leviticus and Numbers so you're all caught up with Moses and the gang before they move on to conquer the promised land.

-During the summation it brings up the golden calf again, which reminds me of Exodus 32:20 where Moses grinds the golden calf into powder, puts it in water, and makes the Israelites drink it. That is one of the funniest things I have read in the Bible. Maybe that is how all idolatry should be handled.

-If all idolatry were handled that way, people would be less eager to be on American Idol.

-Upon writing this blog I searched "Moses and the golden calf" on google and this picture came up:


6) I watched a documentary on the Civil War with Brandon the other day in honor of July 4th, and they refered to the growing railroad system in the 1800's as "America's Tentacles." I like to think of America as a squid or an octopus. Any sort of sea monster really.


I guess that's it for now. I would like to promise more blogs and more consistently but I always make that promise and never come through. I will do my best.

Tribute to an All American Dog

This is my dog, Laska. She and I are pretty good friends, although I don't spend as much time with her as I wish I did. I like her because she looks like a wolf. She is a bit ferocious at times, but never without good reason.


I'm writing this blog because I feel as though my dog is a big deal to me and if I did not do something to honor her I would be doing a large disservice to hard working dogs everywhere. She is a good dog, a hard working dog, an all american dog.

She has a number of accomplishments that I can only hope to live up to, and in this tribute I am going to give a short chronological biography of her life so far: She started out where every successful creature starts out: burried in her studies.


She payed her way through school by working a part time blue color job. It didn't pay much, but she leads a simple life, so she didn't need a large income.


Eventually all her hard work paid off. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA, and was valedictorian of her class. She's not much of a public speaker, but she conquered her fears and her speech that day was nothing short of inspiring.


After graduation, she was faced with a large problem. She had many talents, but she didn't know what career path to take from there. She figured that since she was young and was often told she had a nice bone structure, she would persue her dream of becoming a model. You may remember her from the popular t.v. show "America's Next Top Model." Although she didn't win, she got many opportunities that few dogs get in their lives, and she is a dog that Tyra Banks won't soon forget.


She realized that modeling was a bit superficial for her, she couldn't take the drama. However, she still liked being in the limelight so she became a meteorologist for channel 13 news. Ratings skyrocketed because of her stellar performance.


However, meteorology just wasn't her true passion. What she really wanted was to help people. She opened a small dental practice and worked hard to create the best smiles in town.


During that time she also took on a part time job as a mall cop. Nobody crosses a dog in uniform.


After her time as a mall cop she realized she liked being an authority figure. This inspired her to become an airline pilot. She learned to fly jets, small planes, and helicopters. She has seen the world, but still her heart is in America.


Recently she and I have been talking a lot about America. She has had many experiences and is incredibly relatable. Laska and I feel strongly that the next step in her life is to run for president of the United States.


Please do your American duty and vote in 2012. Laska was born and raised in America and is proud to be an American. She is no wolf in sheep's clothing, this is the real deal. She is a natural leader and would appreciate your votes, and anything else you may have to offer in support of her candidacy.

ABQ Ride

The following took place while I was on a bus from UNM to Tramway and Central:

Sketchy old man on my right(Talking to sketchy punk on my left): Hey how are you?

Sketchy punk: I'm doing pretty good, I just moved back here.

Sketchy old man: well good to see you.

Sketchy punk (refering to me): Is this your daughter?

Sketchy old man: No. This is my lady. Hahahaha.

Me: No...

Sketchy punk proceeds to tell me that he is a self employed tattoo artist, and an aspiring hip hop artist. After casual chatting he gets off at his bus stop.

Sketchy old man: If you were my daughter I wouldn't let you talk to him.

Me: Where do you know him from?

Sketchy old man: We spent a couple months in jail together.

...

Me: Oh that's good.

How I Lost Faith in My Blood Cells

I recently got over probably one of the worst illnesses I’ve ever experienced. “What could it be?” You’re thinking, “hepatitis B? There are shots for that you know…” No. Not hepatitis B. A cough. I coughed for a month straight.


It started out innocent. An itchy throat. Slowly the itch became pain. But I comforted myself, saying “nothing a little tea can’t fix.” But then I began having to clear my throat, and eventually that lead to a cough.

I wasn’t ready to give up yet. “How long can someone cough for? Two days? I’ll be back to my old self in no time.” I continually encouraged my immune system, speaking sweet nothings to it in hopes that my blood cells would make the illness leave my body. These are supposed to be my body's attack dogs. I had faith in them. I remembered learning about this on the magic school bus.


But eventually my meager attempts to encourage my immune system to do its job failed. I lost all hope. The cough took over. I coughed and coughed and coughed. I could no longer enjoy the outside world with my friends.

I couldn’t even say a sentence without breaking into a coughing fit. It left anyone around me unsettled.



Soon my friends got the hint that I wasn’t getting better any time soon, so for the most part they stopped contacting me. Except for a few. Robo Steve gave me cold eeze for Christmas.

I couldn’t go anywhere, or do anything. All I could do was stay home inside my house. I became re-acquainted with my old Playstation 1 and the game “Crash Bandicoot 2.”

I coughed so much that my ribs began to hurt every time I went into one of my fits. And then they became so sore that they hurt any time I did anything, such as celebrate Jenny Gonzales' 18th birthday.

I finally decided that if my immune system wasn’t going to work properly, I would have to take matters into my own hands. I visited the doctor, hoping an expert could help me figure out what was wrong. I hadn't been to a doctor in years. I hadn't even met my doctor before. But I had high hopes. I imagined we would have a magical and informative meeting that would look something like this:


In reality it was nothing liket that. I told the doctor my symptoms, and emphasized the pain in my ribs. But the doctor was no help. She didn't realize that I was looking to get healthy. I think she thought I was making casual conversation.

However, I was given an anti-biotic. I was a bit suspicious at first, but science was on my side.

After a month straight of coughing, it began to slowly fade away. I could make whole sentences again, and go outside without fear of repercussions.

Two weeks after my cough went away, my ribs finally felt normal again. My blood cells just needed a little help from an outside source.

All that to say, I have had no contact with the outside world for the past month.

To put it in more simple terms:

8 things to write home about.

1.Bombay Bicycle Club

These members will soothe you when you need it most.

I suggest you press play and listen while you browse this posty post.

2. Oil Paints.

Max Ferguson

nathan durfee.

3. Planet Earth

This will make the hardest hearted person love the wild. The superior edition is BBC, narrated by a sophisticated British Gentleman.

4. Nathan Moreno

5. Animal Sweaters

The perfect thing to cuddle up while you watch a few hours of Planet Earth.

There is no better way to pay tribute to your fav. animal, than in a stylish and warm sweater.

6. Conspiracy Theories

in the mood for some intrigue?

The Bermuda Triangle

Presidential Assassination.

7.Burnese Mountain Dogs

it is the sort of dog we should all have. it is a noble beast.

8. Home Depot/ Home Depot Employees

You know you're in the right place when the floors are slick and 1 out of every 2 employees go out of their way to help you. Home Depot is a hidden treasure that should not only be kept for the handy type. They have everything you need, and the smooth isles provide an exciting and slippery time when you are wearing your best winter boots. We plan, and suggest you do as well, to make frequent visits to Home Depot. In order to... A. Increase our knowledge of tools and the like. B. to slide around. B. To spend much needed time in the light cloud.